I didn’t want to join our church’s Bible study for women. I always thought Bible study was something Protestants did, especially Born Again Christians.
It’s rare to hear a Catholic quote Scripture, whereas it’s obligatory to memorize Bible passages in many Protestant religions.
Evangelism isn’t high on the list of Catholics, either. Whenever I go to Ohio and am asked if I’m saved (at least several times a day if you venture outside of your house), I know I’m not being addressed by a Catholic.
Why are Catholics so reluctant to proclaim their faith to all, regardless of whether they’ve been asked or not?
Maybe if we read the Bible more, we’d see that spreading the Good News is what we’re supposed to be doing, according to St. Paul. It probably says so elsewhere, too, but I haven’t gotten too far in my study of the Bible.
Anyway, back to my Bible study group: I didn’t want to join. I didn’t want it thought that I was a Bible-thumping zealot, because I’m not. My faith is quiet. I like to think that I live my faith instead of shout it, but that’s not even close to the truth. I don’t live it. I go to church weekly and pray at night. Once in awhile I give a dollar to a homeless person or do a good deed. But nobody would ever think to emulate me because I was such a good Catholic/Christian. Most wouldn’t even know that I was Catholic. I had been fooling myself.
Tonight, at Bible study, we learned that Jesus said that if were embarrassed by him on Earth, then he’d be embarrassed by us in Heaven. That hit home.
I believe in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I just don’t proclaim them. Why? Because I fear being patronized, condescended to, or outright ridiculed by those who think they’re too intelligent to accept what they can’t see. These people claim that only simple, uneducated, or dim-witted “sheeple” are attracted to religion because they can’t think for themselves. These self-proclaimed intelligentsia are rather high and mighty about their belief –– or rather, non-belief.
I think that’s one of the reasons Catholics don’t shout their faith from mountaintops. We don’t want our faith to be sullied or ridiculed. And we don’t want to be ostracized or thought of as being not bright enough to think for ourselves. We think for ourselves, and we know that God is real. And we know that the reason we’re here is to work our way back to Heaven, where we came from.
Jesus said those who lose their life for him will gain their life. I don’t think He meant we had to actually die –– although He didn’t rule that out. I believe He meant we had to either die for him physically or spiritually, i.e., get ridiculed and condemned in His name, if necessary, in order to get to Heaven.
This blog post will never end if I write about everything I’ve discovered about myself, and how my faith has grown, from attending the very classes that I fought to escape from.
And perhaps this will be the first post of many on the subject. I have resolved to talk about God from now on. I am not ashamed of Him and I can’t fear the reactions of flawed humans and dismiss the desires of my unflawed God.
The most important thing I discovered, I discovered tonight. We had read that Jesus said we had to become child-like to get into Heaven. I had heard this many times. If I thought about it all, I just thought it meant that we have to become innocent and trusting and have faith. But tonight, a woman in our group said that God was our father, and just like when we were children and held our own fathers’ hands and were filled with trust and peace, we need to hold God the Father’s hand, and know that He will take charge and take away our worries. He knows where we need to go and he’ll take us there safely. We only have to have utter trust in Him.
Quite truthfully, that blew my mind. It made so much sense. God is our father. If we get out of the way, He will put us on the right path. There will be challenges and struggles, but we only need to give them to Him. He’ll help us get through our darkest days and bring us out the other end to the light. How we act during the hard times will be a testament to our faith. If we accept God’s grace and travel through the worst days with faith, instead of beating our breasts and crying out about the injustice of it all, then we will be acting as God wants us to act.
And He will not abandon us. We need to trust that God has a solution to every problem we bring him. That’s what we did when we were little. We can do it when we’re not so little, too. Only this time, the Father we bring our problems to is all-powerful, knows what is right for us, and will help us prevail.
It’ll all make sense one day. In the meantime, we just have to believe.
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