If you’ve gotten past that headline and are willing to hear advice from someone who might be significantly older than you are, then you are probably … alone.
When I was young, I would always roll my eyes far back into my head when an older person would give advice or reminisce about the old (better) days. Now I know how dumb I was to not have listened. Why make mistakes that have already been made before? Today, I always listen to advice from someone who has been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt and the rear-window cling. I prefer to avoid as many of life’s pitfalls as possible, so I’ll have plenty of time to make new, never-done-before (to my knowledge), outrageous, creative, fresh mistakes.
So, here’s my advice to take or ignore:
Bodycon (tight, clingy) clothes should never be worn by anyone who isn’t stick-thin, or who doesn’t have a flat stomach and controlled curves. Otherwise, every roll, cellulite dimple, droopy bottom, and belly bulge will be visible. Always look in a multiple-sided mirror before going out in this type of clothing. Celebrities work hard on their bodies before slipping into bodycon clothes. If you don’t, then don’t.
Speaking of bellies: I know it’s all the rage for women to have abs, but a long, flat, sleek stomach is sexy and looks sleek in tight clothes, whereas defined abs can make a woman in a tight dress look pregnant. One more tip from the old days: Hold in your stomach!
Zippers belong inside clothes, not outside of them. I don’t know why this ever became a thing. Some designer probably made a mistake when sewing in a zipper and said, “Hey, let’s give this a try.” And women went along with it, because it was “fashion.” No, it isn’t. It’s stupid and unattractive.
Wear full-coverage underwear that matches your skin tone when wearing white pants. It looks much more respectable than a thong. Thongs don’t hold anything in, remember. It’s all there to see in its droopy, dimply state. And thongs look tacky when you can see them through pants.
Straight-leg ankle pants, including skinny jeans, are not flattering. They’re fashionable now, and I admit to owning several pairs, due to buying some and accidentally shrinking long pants, so we’ll all be wearing them. But, they were hideous in the 1980s and they’re still hideous. Wide-leg shorter pants (called Capris not that long ago) should only be worn in the summer, if ever.
It’s okay to say no to wearing something that is having its fashion minute. Not everything will look good on you. I remember my mother telling me when I was a child that, in the 1950s, she refused to wear the sack dress because it was so ugly. Most women agreed, and abstained.
She also said that most women refused to wear midi skirts in the 1970s because they cut the leg off at an unattractive point. That was back when there were three lengths in fashion at the same time (which was groundbreaking in that era): mini, midi, and maxi. I think that rule doesn’t apply now, because back then, women mostly wore heels with dresses and skirts, and today boots look great with midis. Converse sneakers, though, not so much.
The last thing I can thing of is cleavage. Stop showing it in the daytime. Period. And if it’s wrinkled, don’t show it … EVER.